


How To Make A Girl Feel Special

by castielnovak



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Apocalypse, Cute, Drama, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Love, Lucille - Freeform, Marriage, Negan (Walking Dead) Being an Asshole, Negan - Freeform, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Nice Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, protective, relationship, the walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 20:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14528160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielnovak/pseuds/castielnovak
Summary: Leah has spent more time running over the past five years of her life than ever before. And that's a bad thing: exercise was never her forte.But now? Leah feels safe living at Alexandria with Rick and the gang. Until Negan shows up and her world changes in ways that she could never have expected.{Please note: explicit reference and scenes of abusive relationships. I will put a trigger warning when necessary}





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is me and this is my first attempt at a The Walking Dead fan fiction so when it turns out to he utter shit, don't hate me. Okay bye.

_Dear Diary,_   
_Today I did the unimaginable. I escaped. Without warning or argument I woke up and I left, something I never thought I'd be able to do. He'd controlled my life for so long, made me feel worthless and unnecessary. For a while, I believed it and maybe now a part of me still does. But all I know is that I am free of him. Still, as I sit here by the light of a candle that is all but burnt out, I can't help thinking that I would have been so much better if I had just stayed there with him._

* * *

 

That diary entry had been the last she had ever written, a little over five months ago. Leah knew that it wasn't doing much for her health, reading over the words that caused her so much pain, but she had little else to do, things in Alexandria were hardly exciting. But, considering the other possibilities, living alone outside the walls or trapped in an abusive relationship with Rowan, a man who claimed to love her, Leah would take boring any day.  
  
Despite the lack of excitement, Leah was thankful for all that Rick and the Alexandrians had done for her. Aaron and Eric had found her hiding out at a bus stop just hours after the diary entry had been written, broken and bruised, immediately accepting her as one of their own. From that day forward, she had barely left their side, latching on to them like a lost puppy. She'd never told anyone about her previous life with Rowan, here at Alexandria it was a fresh start. She didn't need their kindness or looks of pity. Here, she had power and respect, one of Rick's personal advisors.  
  
Life was so much better than Leah could ever have imagined. But yet, something was still missing. No matter how many friends she had, Leah still felt lonely. The hole that Rowan had left proved to be a difficult one to fill.  
  
She slammed the book shut, sliding it back to its permanent residence under the sofa. That was enough sadness and remenussing for one day. Hell, Leah had had enough of that these past few months to last her a life time. But hey, she was complaining. Life in Alexandria was so much better that it would have been elsewhere and Leah reminded herself of that fact anytime she ever felt anything but gratitude towards the people that had welcomed her in with open arms.  
  
She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the sofa as she pulled her legs tighter to her chest. In all her twenty-seven years on Earth, Leah had never imagined that she would end up here, sharing a house with two gay guys in the middle of the apocalypse. But she was thankful, no doubt, not only that Alexandria had been such a welcoming place but to Aaron and Eric for letting her stay with them. She'd claimed that the arrangement was only temporary yet here she remained, nearing six months later still sleeping on their couch. It was a comfortable sofa, at that, and Leah had no intentions of moving out anytime soon, no matter how long the males spent in the bathroom. This was her home now and there was no turning back.  
  
She picked up a polaroid photo from the table, twiddling the small white square in her hand. It had been taken by Carl about a week after Leah's arrival and depicted the girl with her arms swung lazily around Aaron. This was one of the few moments that Leah and been truly happy: the sun was shining and she was having a picnic with her new found friends.  
  
Leah let the picture fall back flat on the table, smiling at the memory. She knew that life would never be normal again but being at Alexandria made her feel like that might just be okay.  
  
Frantic knocking on the door snapped Leah out of her trance like state, calling her back to reality. Rather reluctantly, Leah pushed herself from her seat on the floor and instinctively navigated her way around the furniture to the front door. She peeled back the door that has sheltered her from the outside world, fully expecting to see Rick there, requesting Leah's help once more. She sighed, over-tired and just wanting to relax, a fake smile plastered flawlessly onto her face. It wasn't that she resented helping Rick, she was glad that he trusted her enough to make her a personal advisor or his, a luxury that few got to experience. Despite not having met long ago, Leah felt special knowing that Rick had chosen her over people he had know for years. Rather, Leah just wanted a break, from Rick, from the never ending list of tasks, from the walkers that never seemed to dwindle in numbers no matter how many she killed, from life.  
  
Much to Leah's surprise, the figure at her door was not Rick as she had wrongly assumed, rather a pale looking Tara, her brow creased with worry and concern. Leah knew that her and Tara had never been especially close, never seeing eye to eye on almost every issue, so the younger girl was sure that something must be wrong. There was no way that Tara had come to Leah in a time of obvious need willingly. She tilted her head to the side, considering just exactly what was going on. Tara's face was a pale white, losing more and more colour every second and Leah knew that if she didn't say something, the girl night just pass out there and then. This was all too much.  
  
"Tara," Leah spoke, reaching out her hand and placing it on the other girl's shoulder. "You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"Worse." Tara replied almost instantly, her eyes glued to the floor. "He's here."  
  
That simple phrase was enough to make Leah's blood run cold, no more explanation was needed. Leah had never met the man in question but she knew that was about to change, much to her dismay. She shrugged a jacket onto her shoulders and nodded in the direction of Tara.  
  
"Right, let's get this over with."


	2. Compliment Her Appearance

Blood pumped hard through Leah's veins, a mixture of nervous and excited energy building within her. He was here. A man that Leah had only heard stories about and none of those stories had been good.  
  
She walked alongside Tara, their feet pounding against the floor in sink as they headed towards the gate. Leah ran her hand through her unwashed hair, making it look like she had somewhat prepared for this meeting. She hasn't, of course. Tara's coming to Leah had been a last resort, the result of everyone else being out.  
  
Leah stopped, mere meters from the gate, the looming figure of Negan just a shadow against the darkness. She turned to Tara, her heart racing a thousand miles a minute. "He's early," She whispered to the shorter girl, her eyes not moving from the gate in front. "We don't owe him our share for another eight days."  
  
Tara shrugged her shoulders, unable to respond before Negan spoke.  
  
"Are you gonna let me in or are me and Lucille gonna have to fucking break down these here walls? Your choice, sweetheart." His voice was loud, cutting harshly through the uneasy silence that had consumed Alexandria. By now, about thirty people had gathered around the gates, all panicking about what would happen. Leah's eyes glanced to Tara who returned an uneasy yet reassuring smile, letting Leah know that she must take control. She waved her hand in the direction of the gatekeeper, signalling for him to open them.  
  
A smile creased Negan's face as he entered Alexandria, his eyes finding Leah almost instantly. Leah couldn't help but shy away at the man's glance, her eyes now fixated on the floor. Negan was a lot different to what the girl had expected. Firstly, he was much more attractive, the leather jacket slung loosely around his shoulders captured Leah's attention. Perhaps more surprisingly was that Negan was a lot smaller than Leah had anticipated. Not in height, but his body looked frail, almost as if it would break if she got too close. She supposed that being in an apocalypse would do that to a man.  
  
"Well, don't you just look like shit." Negan greeted Leah with a confident smile, leaning back on his heels.  
  
Leah couldn't deny that her appearance had seen better days. She hasn't washed or brush her hair or even changed out of her pyjamas, fully expecting to just spend the day at home.  
  
"Wow." She spat, her eyes looking up and down the older man's body. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special." Leah reached out her hand, putting it flat against Negan's chest and pushing him backwards. She felt the atmosphere change, it was obvious no one had treated Negan this way before. She felt a sense of pride in being the first to fight against his intimidating presence. "You're early." Leah crossed her arms over chest, still trying to remain confident despite the anxiety bubbling within her. This man held so much power, in one move, could kill her and that was not a risk that Leah was willing to take. Leah swallowed hard, banishing the thought from her mind.  
  
"Huh" Negan answered, obviously surprised by the girl's forward nature. He tilted his head to the side raising a brow in confusion but also admiration. "You see, sweetheart, next week it's Lucille here's birthday. And I have some special requests that I do believe you could help me with." He lifted up the bat that hung limp at his side and pointed it towards Leah. Without thinking, the girl reached out her hand, swatting the bat away. Negan tensed, his shoulders dropping and his grip around Lucille tightening. He lent towards Leah's ear, so close that she could feel his rough unshaven skin against her face.  
  
"Listen here, _sweetheart_." Negan whispered, his tone assertive and patronising. "No one touches Lucille, you hear me. It's a good job I have a soft spot for rebellious girls." He pulled away, straightening his posture, a menacing smile plastered on his face. "So, where's Rick?"  
  
"On a run. With Michonne before you ask about her." Leah was no longer pushing her luck, she'd answer his questions, give him what he wanted and get him out of this place as soon as possible.  
  
Negan looked visibly disappointed with her answer, his hopes of seeing Rick dashed. "What about my Daryl?"  
  
"Out gathering people with Aaron and Eric. You're stuck with me, I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh, doll, no need to apologise, I am certainly not complaining." Negan smirked, swinging the bat aimlessly at his side.  
  
"Okay then," Leah spoke, pulling on the hem of her t-shirt and tapping her foot impatiently. "Why exactly are you here? I can pass the message on to Rick, he won't be back until morning." She was aware that she was rushing her speech, she just wanted this exchange to be over as soon as possible.  
  
"Oh, no, sweetheart, I want to see the look on Rick's face when I tell him that I want double the supply next week and a birthday party thrown for Lucille. Those little party hats and everything." Negan smiled, spinning in a circle. The crowd surrounding the pair had dispersed by now, all too afraid to be in the presence of Negan for more than two minutes. But Tara was still there, looking on at their discussion, her head tilted in what Leah could only believe to be confusion.  
  
This man had style, one that Leah hated to admit that she admired. It was weird. She knew what a monster Negan was but part of her felt a strange connection with him. And she hated it, vowing to herself to leave the man's company as soon as possible.  
  
"Like I said." Leah answered, turning on her heel and walking away. "Rick won't be back until tomorrow, so I'll pass on the message. You can see yourself out." She waved her hand back at him, walking off in the direction of her home. After a few seconds, she heard footsteps following her, and turned back, fully expecting to see Tara chasing after her.  
  
Instead, Leah stood once more faced with Negan, a man she truly wished she would never have to see again.  
  
"And like I said, I have a soft spot for rebellious girls. So I think I'll spend my time waiting for Rick with you." Negan ran his tongue over his front teeth before letting it rest on his back molar. His lips slowly arched into a smile as he noticed the discomfort on Leah's face. "So? Are we heading back to your place or not?"  
  
Leah had no choice but to obey, throwing a final desperate glance in Tara's direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, wow, another update so soon? I didn't expect that either. I really enjoy writing Negan, I just hope that I am doing such a wonderful character justice! Feel free to comment suggestions and stuff to improve on. Hope you have a great day!


	3. Compliment Her Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To apologise for being away for so long, although I don't actually know if anyone cared, here is an extra long chapter, enjoy!

Almost in sink, the pair walked towards Leah's house, tension hanging in the air like an unwanted friend. Leah had her hands balled into fist, her eyes fixated on the floor, desperate not to look over at Negan.  
  
Their pace was slow, deliberately slow, as set by Leah. She wanted to spend as much time outside as possible out of fear of what would happen once she and Negan were alone. She didn't have to look up to tell that Negan was getting impatient, the occasional sighs he let out was indication enough.  
  
All to soon, Leah stopped outside her house, the key diging into her palms as she gripped it tightly. Reluctantly and filled with concern, she pushed opened the door, stepping aside to let Negan in.  
  
"Huh. Nice place." Negan spoke, hopefully sincerely as his eyes scanned the front room. He wandered through to the kitchen, setting Lucille on a chair before claiming one for himself. Leah followed obidiently but didn't speak, not wanting to push her luck any further. She obeyed the saying her parents had taught her as a child: if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. And she defiently had nothing good to say about the man that unfortunately stayed in her company. Her eyes flickered up from the floor for the first time, meeting Negan's before she looked away almost immediately.  
"Oh come on sweetheart, where's that smart mouth of yours I so admired?" Negan retorted, filling the silence that had consumed the pair.  
  
He stood up, crossing the room until he stood next Leah. Slowly, he raised his hand to the girls face but before any contact could be made, Leah flinched away, almost instinctively. Negan tilted his head to the side, in both confusion and concern as he stepped away, holding his hands up in surrender. "Hey, look, I'm not going to hurt you." Negan spoke, his voice softer and calmer than the usual tone he used. Leah was surprised at this: maybe the male had a shred of decency within him after all. Who knew?  
  
Leah felt her body relax at Negan's comment and her hands finally unclentched, her arms hanging limp at her side. By no means did the girl feel safe in the man's presence, just more at ease than she previously had been. Leah walked over to the table sitting down on the chair that had previously been Negan's. "So, are we going to stand around here having a macho contest for the next ten hours or are you going to sit down?" She answered, crossing her legs on the chair.  
  
The smile on Negan's face was undeniable as he walked towards her and noticed that his chair had been stolen. He sat down next to Lucille and opposite from Leah, his arms folded in front of him. "Now that's what I'm talking about... Wait a second, how forgetful. I don't even know your name." Negan replied, a smug smile consuming him as he ran a hand across his unshaven face.  
  
"Leah." She retorted almost as soon as the man had stopped talking.  
  
"Leah, huh? I had a dog named Leah once." Negan smirked, placing his palms flat on the table. He knew the statement would annoy her and of course, Leah took the bait.  
  
She rolled her eyes playful, but also kind of insulted. "Wow, so I remind you of a dog, that's just flattering. You sure do know how to make a girl feel special."  
  
"Look, honey. That's the second time you've said that to me in about ten minutes. Part of me thinks you're into me, like you want me to impress you." Negan winked, his witty response catching Leah of gaurd.  
  
She felt her cheeks flush a light pink and she raised her hands to touch them, attempting to shelter the colour from the man opposite her. She failed, as the smile on Negan's face showed. Leah had no idea why that had been her reaction. Undoubtedly, Negan was charming and attractive and charismatic and he seemed to care but he was a murdered, a man who had terrorised their community for months, left them without any food or way to survive. She could never think of him as more than an inconvenience. But still, the way he looked at her made her feel something, something she most defiently should not feel.  
"In your dreams, old man." Leah finally said, the pink in her face having faded. She stood up, removing herself from both the awkward situation and the man's presence and wandered over to the counter. The girl picked up a mostly full bottle of whiskey and two glasses, placing them on top of the table. "If you're going to stay here, we might as well get drunk."  
  
A smug smile crossed Negan's face and Leah immediately felt uneasy: it couldn't mean anything good. He reached across the table, pouring a shot for himself before doing the same for the girl. "Lets play never have I ever." Negan suggested, swirling the liquid around in the glass before finally setting it down in the table and sliding the other glass towards the girl.  
  
"What are you?" Leah snarled, picking up the glass and holding it firmly in her hands. "A thriteeen year old girl at her first slumber party?" Her face soften into a smile as she came round to the idea: they were going to be stuck here alone for god knows how long, might as well make the most of it. "Never have I ever been immature enough to initiate a game of never have I ever." Leah nodded her head in the direction of Negan's glass and he picked it up, downing the shot before pouring himself another.  
  
"You haven't lived." Negan joked, waving his hands about to emphasis the point. "So quick to judge, but I'm just a big kid at heart." He winked at Leah, setting his newly filled glass back down in the table. "Never have I ever kissed a man." A confident smirk crossed Negan's face, knowing that he would get Leah on this one.  
  
He was right, of course, and within a few seconds, Leah had downed the glass, grimacing as the liquid burnt down her throat. Before all this, whiskey had never been her thing but in a world where alcohol was hard to come by, Leah would happily take whatever she could get. "That was just mean." She spoke, shaking her head yet still smiling. It may have been the alcohol talking, but Leah could safely say she was warming up to this new side of Negan. He was still an asshole, and Leah would never go as far as to say she liked him, but being in such a neutral situation made Leah feel like he just might not murder her. She pondered for a few seconds, running a hand through her hair before deciding on a perfect question. "Never have I ever driven a car." She folded her arms across her chest, well aware that Negan had driven one to reach Alexandria.  
  
He drunk his shot, slower this time and less excited. "You've never driven? Wow, sweetheart, have you actually done anything fun?"  
  
"I never learnt, my boyfriend always did the driving. And now, I can't exactly learn." She shrugged her shoulders complainantly, hoping that Negan would drop the subject of her love life. Even thinking back to her last relationship sent shivers down her spine, causing her to shy away instinctively.  
  
She had no such luck, and being an asshole, Negan decided to pry. "Boyfriend, huh?" He questioned, eyes flicking from the table, to Leah and back again. "Where is he?" The older male continued, well aware that there was no one else in the house aside from the pair of them.  
  
"He's not around anymore." She spoke, her voice an emotionless, unwavering tone, not letting Negan see how truly broken up about the situation she was. Leah nodded her head in the man's direction. "Its your turn, fearless leader." The ease that Leah felt was beginning to dispurse as the reality of just who she was sitting with dawned upon her. Negan wasn't just someone you sat and played harmless games with. He had an ulterior motive, one the Leah most defiently did not want to be a part of.  
A hostile atmosphere settled over them and Leah straightened up her posture, her eyes staring forward at Negan, willing him to express his secrets. Leah wanted nothing more than to run upstairs, lock the door and pretend like Negan wasn't there. But she couldn't. That would show weakness and one thing that Leah defiently wasn't was weak.  
  
Their stupid charade continued for another hour, both becoming ever more drunk. Leah relaxed more as she consumed more alcohol, but even with most of her senses faulted, she was still aware of the fear she felt whilst in the presence of Negan. She mad sure to keep her strong aura, no matter how many times she felt it slipping.  
  
"Never have I ever been married." Leah's speech was noticeably slurred and she now sat with her legs crossed, leaning across the table to keep her attention fixated on Negan. The male was certainly drunk, but not to the extent of his female counterpart, his days of heavy drinking building up a tolerance to the effect.  
  
Much to Leah's surprise, Negan raised the drink to his mouth, swallowing it's content in one swift motion. His eyes didn't meet Leah's, the awkward tension growing.  
  
Before Negan could speak, Leah cut in, armed with a sarcastic comment. "What's that? Fearless leader Negan has been married? How cute!" Leah snarled, raising an eyebrow. She had spent more than enough time in the male's company but made a swift decision that she would not be the one to end the night. For Leah, the game had become more of an out drinking contest, and one that she was winning. "What's her name?" Leah's face changed slightly into a smile and a weird feeling built within her, one that she couldn't quite put a name to.  
  
Disappointment. That feeling was an undeniable disappointment, laced with equal amounts of jealousy. And Leah hated it. She hated this whole situation. And most of all, she hated Negan for making her feel this way. He was a Class A dick. Someone that had ruined the perfect life that Alexandria had proposed to her. So why exactly did her heart sink when he announced that he had a wife?  
  
"Lucille." Negan's voice cut through the silence, pulling Leah out of her confused state.  
  
Her eyes narrowed, staring Negan down. "As in, Lucille?" Her head turned in the direction of the bat still situated next to Negan and the man nodded slowly. "Wow, Negan, what a romantic!" She teased, a spiteful element still attached. "Some men buy their women a car or flowers even. But no, you go and name your murder weapon after her? She must be flattered."  
  
Negan shot up, storming round the table and Leah found herself cowering away from his overwhelming presence. To her surprise, he placed a hand gently on her elbow, helping her up. "Come on, sweetheart." He spoke, smiling once more. "I think it's time you went to bed."  
  
Leah snatched her arm away, taking a wobbly step forward. "I can do it myself, thanks." She protested, slumping forward and walking in to the table.  
  
"No, you can't." Negan returned, his tone stern yet concerned.  
  
And before Leah could protest, Negan had swooped her into his arms, swiftly carrying her upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually pretty fun to write, so I hope you had equal enjoyment reading it! Please leave me a comment to let me know how I'm doing!


End file.
